I will never learn it seems...

Well, here I am again...sitting, hurting, wanting to whine about it but knowing it was "self inflicted" and I've no one to blame but myself. I really hate it when that happens but it happens so damn often! Nobody said, "Kendra, go upstairs and re-tile your bathroom floor." But I am...and it's looking pretty good I might add. My experience in "tile-setting" is extensive...I hung out with one a couple times. Hehehe! Oh, and mustn't forget, I did read the instructions. I am so addicted to home improvement! And the real "bonus" is I can usually get all the materials free from the "Free" ads on Craigslist.org. I also am painting the bathroom with that same damn color that I have painted everything before this...a kind of mocha brown mixed in with some other color I forget that resulted in a gallon of paint that I refuse to waste. All of my landlords end up loving me. Unless of course they refuse to return my deposit. That always pisses me off enough to drag their sorry ass into small claims court, whoop that sorry ass and then usually I never see the money anyway. But, it was worth it just to see them try. I love this condo I live in as if it were mine. It's the perfect place and with the perfect landlords. They appear when needed, they have told me that they have no intention of raising the rent or ever selling. I'm set! I have to admit though that in this current economy I wouldn't blame them if they did. I just hope they don't. I love it here! I am so sore today after being on the floor all day yesterday. I need to get something to eat and I can't even muster up the energy for that. I have my spinal shot on Tuesday and am starting to get a bit nervous about it. What if something goes wrong and I end up paralyzed? How the hell will I ever do anything I love doing? Horses, motorcycles, going upstairs since that is where the bathroom is........gotta love that! I hope it helps like the Dr. thinks it will. My entire existence has changed so much in the past six or nine months that it's hard to believe it is my life. I asked Phill what size the kids wear now as I want to get some summer stuff for them and what he told me about made me fall over! Mathew is now in a Mens size 8 and Cameo is wearing a Ladies size 7. What the hell? I move away for one second and they grew up on me. Breaks my heart! I don't know if it's because I don't get to witness the changes slowly or if it's because I didn't want it to go this way. I wanted "MiMa" to be a daily thing in their lives and it seems like I've robbed myself of that. See? Another "self inflicted" wound. But it is so much deeper than any others to date. I love and miss them so much. I just can't make myself leave here. More on that at a later date but for now I ache. I really do need to eat. I can't remember what I ate last and that's usually a sign that I didn't.